running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Randomize
