Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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