Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
