There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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