She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
