I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I love you. Go after that dick
Randomize
