So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
