So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Randomize
