I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Randomize
