worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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