pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
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