so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Randomize
