There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
