I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
