Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
