I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
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