i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Randomize