i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
