think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
