Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
