I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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