it wasn't lemon gatorade
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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