I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize
