He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
