I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize