So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
