i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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