I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
