i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
It's shark week go big or go home
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
