I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
