There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I woke up under a house in Key West
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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