Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I want to have your abortion
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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