Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
