Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
