Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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