I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
