I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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