we need to drink 2009 down the drain
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
