Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
