there was a trapeze. enough said
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
That accounts for only three of the penises
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
