Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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