highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
