That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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