HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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