I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Randomize
