Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Randomize
