Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
