I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Randomize
