Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Randomize
