It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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